


but now I see I was not plucked for naught

by O Lord Heal This OAbsalom (OAbsalom)



Series: if i'm sincere today, what does it matter if i regret it tomorrow? [2]
Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Abandonment, Anxiety, Crowley Hurts The Houseplants (Good Omens), Crowley Loves his Houseplants (Good Omens), Discord: O Lord Heal This Server, Episode: s01e02 The Book
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-04
Updated: 2020-02-04
Packaged: 2021-02-28 00:02:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 459
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22564462
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OAbsalom/pseuds/O%20Lord%20Heal%20This%20OAbsalom
Summary: Whatwasthat plant thinking as it was being punished for having a spot?Grow better, indeed.
Relationships: Crowley/Houseplants (Good Omens)
Series: if i'm sincere today, what does it matter if i regret it tomorrow? [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1733320
Comments: 11
Kudos: 53
Collections: The Not-Very-Nice and Anatomically-Inaccurate Prophecies of OLHTS





	but now I see I was not plucked for naught

**Author's Note:**

> Written for [**Not-So-Nice and Anatomically-Inaccurate Prophecies**](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/OLHTCrack) **(née _Perfectly Horrid Velocipedes_ )** wherein _O Lord Heal This (Discord) Server_ gets together with a terrible, ungodly crack prompt and writes our ~~best~~ worst fic in 300 words or less, average word count 1.5k. 
> 
> Thank you, my dearest [Veevethan (vol_ctrl)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/vol_ctrl) for all of your amazing work putting this monstrosity of an event together, keeping everyone on track, and delegating like a boss! And a big shoutout to [nothing_goldcanstay](https://archiveofourown.org/users/nothing_goldcanstay) for all of your help organizing the event in the past!
> 
> This week's prompt: "Crowley's plants are sentient." _Winner of this week's Overall Winner Award_, the prize being an amazing [PODFIC](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23862730) by the stunning and talented [Literarion](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Literarion)!

_< <He's going to see. He's going to see, of course he's go-->>_

"IS THAT A SPOT? IS IT???"

_< <Yes, it's a spot. I'm sorry, Crowley.>>_

"Now I've told you all how I feel about leaf spots! I will not stand for them!"

_< <I'm sorry, I tried. Please yell more, please don't send me away.>>_

"You know what you've done? You've disappointed me. Oh dear, oh dear."

_< <Don't be disappointed, please! I can fix it! I'll be green and waxy like the others!>>_

"Everyone! Say goodbye to your friend. He just couldn't cut it."

_< <Put me back down, please put me back down. I don't want you to show me off to them. They already know I failed. Put me down and I'll try again.>>_

"Now this is going to hurt you... SO much more than it will hurt me. And you guys, GROW BETTER!!!"

_< <No, this isn't the way to the rest of the pots, this is - we're going somewhere else. Is this where you've taken all the others? What does that switch do - **oh** , it's so loud. I don't want to go in the loud place. Mercy, please have mercy.>>_

"I'll show you what I do to plants that dare to defy my direct orders."

_< <NO!!! Oh... oh Crowley, thank you, thank you for turning that off I didn't want to, I... This. We're not going back to the plant room? Ah! It's so bright out here. Why does this room move? Do I live here now? Please tell me what to do, I'll do it right for you, and you can take me back home.>>_

"I rule you plants with a firm hand. Can't have you bollocksing up my house with any of that nonsense, are we understood?"

_< <We're understood, I said I'd do better. This doesn't look like where we came from? Gah, the air! It's so fresh! Water, I've never seen so much water. AH, what is that **thing** , what is the sound it's making? I'm frightened, Crowley. NO! Put me back in my pot, please, don't drop me. Wh-- Uh, huh! This is a nice cozy hole. The sun **does** feel rather lovely on my leaves. Ah! Yes, much better with all the soil patted down, certainly, but we must be getting home. You've frightened me, I understand. I have a spot to fix.>>_

"Rebellious little plants need something different than a firm hand, don't they? You'll get lots of spots out here. You'll get much bigger than them, though."

_< <......Crowley?>>_

"I might not come back, but I might yet. You'd better not let me catch you trying to fix it all now."

**The plant sat, the lake shimmering and dotted with ducks, surrounded by happy families playing and lovers on benches. Growing better.**


End file.
